‘My daughter is not a burden’: New mom bites back at entitled MIL when she suggests being a grandma is better than being a mother on social media

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Feb 28, 2025 10:00 AM EST

Navigating new motherhood is like diving headfirst into an unknown pool whose depth you don't know. You can watch as many parenting videos, read as many tutorials, and speak to veteran mothers about parenting, yet you'll still be in for a surprise when you bring your prized tiny tot home to start the rest of their life. It's times like these that you should feel grateful for the support systems in your life who have your back when things start to overwhelm you. However, for every great person, you have another emotionally incompetent person just waiting to drag you down. New motherhood shouldn't be like this, but sometimes, it's unavoidable.

The new mother in this story is fed up with her mother-in-law after she denounces motherhood and claims grandmotherhood is the better option. This is a common saying, but the woman explains she knows her MIL wrote this online for people to see and to influence folks to make negative assumptions about the woman's status as a mother. Scroll down to read the entire story.

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  • The woman describes her relationship with her mother-in-law as “tumultuous," which is already an interesting start to the story. You might think MILs are constantly given a bad reputation for no reason, but the proof is in the posting. Though it isn't fair to vilify one kind of in-law, it's important to analyze the potential reasons why MILs make life difficult for their child's spouse, namely on purpose. In this woman's story, her MIL likely does so because she wants to make herself feel more important.

  • "I feel like she humiliated me on social media by saying my place in my daughter's life is not as important as hers."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "MIL thinks being grandma is more important than being my daughter’s mom."

    Me (27f) and my husband (30m) recently had a baby girl. To give you some backstory, my MIL (50s f) and I have always had a tumultuous relationship which came to a head about two years
    via Jealous-Fennel-5529
  • ago when she sat in my living room and said a lot of phobic stuff she knew I wouldn't put up with in my house. She made a scene in the front
    via Jealous-Fennel-5529
  • yard yelling, calling names, and saying hurtful things. My husband told her she couldn't be around until she properly apologized.
    via Jealous-Fennel-5529
  • Fast forward to last year when I got pregnant. I was about 32 weeks when she finally decided to apologize. It wasn't great but I was ready to put everything behind us so cautiously we let
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  • her back in. She would, however still not respect my wishes or boundaries. For example-a small thing but matters to me-I asked for no camouflage baby clothes and most of what she's bought was camouflage. Mostly these are things I can deal with.
    via Jealous-Fennel-5529
  • Cheezburger Image 10473949952
    via Linoleum Creative Collective for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Things were okay until last week. I posted something about how I felt like being a mom really changed me for the better. I used to be very combative and
    via Jealous-Fennel-5529
  • argumentative and I just have better things to focus on. I've put a lot of work into letting things roll off that I wouldn't have before. Essentially I just said
    via Jealous-Fennel-5529
  • "Motherhood has been good to me." My MIL commented below about how motherhood is good, but there's just something /so much better/ about being a grandma and I just wouldn't understand how great it is to be free from "the burden of life."
    via Jealous-Fennel-5529
  • First of all, I was angry. My daughter is not a burden. She is my biggest joy even on hard days. Secondly, I was
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  • embarrassed. I feel like she humiliated me on social media by saying my place in my daughter's life is not as important as hers.
    via Jealous-Fennel-5529
  • My friends/husband are split on this. Two of my friends said it came across as stealing thunder. One of them said yeah it was weird but probably innocent. And
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  • my husband seems to think it's fine. I feel a little slighted by it but maybe i'm insane? Thoughts? And how do I handle it?
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  • GK21595 Just block her or mute her comments on social media. She sounds miserable and hateful, and the only reason she's commenting is to get a rise out of you.
    via GK21595
  • Desperate_Bat_... I would have responded with something along the lines. of...oh I'm so sorry you felt being a mom to your children was a burden! I absolutely adore being a mother even on the hardest days! My child is never a "burden of life."
    via Desperate_Bat_512
  • LeaJadis She sounds petty and attention hungry.... but it's also a common statement that being a grandparent is better than being a parent. I wouldn't say more important.... I would say better/funner/easier etc
    via LeaJadis
  • z-eldapin Respond back 'I'm sorry, are you saying your son - my husband - was a burden to you'. Let the comments be what they may
    via z-eldapin
  • Charles-43 You can't control what she says or does but you can control what YOU say and do. Throw away the camo baby clothes. Block her or unfollow her on social media. When she ties to needle you, get up and walk away. In other words, do not engage. Don't feed that fire.
    via Charles-43
  • NeverRarelySom... Don't obsess about it. It's nonsense, and not worth fighting about. If your MIL felt burdened by her children, that's her issue. Her statements say nothing about you and your values. Congratulations on the birth of your daughter!
    via NeverRarelySometimes

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entitled parents mother reddit story relationships husband entitled people karma mother in law entitled Reddit entitled people family drama motherhood family feud in laws family
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